All is well with the guild. It feels so good to see everyone in high spirits, cutting up and having fun. Tor is a godsend. He always finds a way to make me laugh no matter how I'm feeling at the time. Must admit, at the moment, I haven't really been myself. How is it that we come to love someone so much, they become a part of us, and when they aren't around, well, their absence is felt big time. I miss him, it's like a part of me isn't awake when he's not here. I know I shall move forward, and keep this guild running, will not let them see my pain of missing him. Should be easy enough, right? We shall see. He's given me this gift, of showing me how I can be a leader, and I will not let him down. I shall succeed in this, and when he returns, he shall see how well we all have done. I will be waiting for him, and when he does return, well, I believe a little trip will be called for................................

It's been a while since I pulled this little book of mine out. Thought I would go ahead, pull it out, and write something while I 'm down here in the dang tombs farmin. I've made it to level 59, finally, thought I would never get there. Thanks to Spyne, I have my new armor, bless him.

The guild finally got the name, Honor Among Thieves. Can you believe it? Seemed like it would take forever. We got a new forum up and running, thanks to Isis. She's been a life saver. We have a few new members now. Not many, which is the way I like it. Don't want to grow too fast that we loose who we are and why we started this guild in the first place, ya know. Each of them make me smile and laugh every day.

Every time I see raids like I did tonight, I admit, I get scared, but now, that fear is more intensified. I stood there in Milltown Center, just staring at him, not really paying attention to anything else, but Balthazar, trying to figure out his weekness, to see if there was something he would give away as he sat there and laughed at everyone. I was terrified, thought I wouldn't be that way if ever I saw him again, but I was. Not only do I have to worry about myself, but Spyne and the rest of the guild. I feel like each one of them are a part of me. They are helping to make this guild into something we can all be proud of. It's taking a lot of work, and I thank each one of em for all their hard work and continued support. Without them, I know I wouldn't be able to do this. Specially with Spyne right there by my side, I feel like I can accomplish anything. In a way, I guess we have done just that. Sitting back, looking at what all we have done and all we have over come on this journey. I love him more and more as the days pass. I really don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. I always thought this would never happen to me, this feeling of peace I have when we are together. He makes me feel so safe. I have everything I've always wanted, plus more......

I've been sitting here, going over the last few weeks in my head. A lot has happened, some good, some not so good. But, I am so happy now. I have everything I could possibly want. The guild is in good spirits so far. We are slowly bringing in new people, which is the way I like it. I don't want to grow too fast and loose ourselves along the way. We must always remember who we are and why we started this. Hopefully we can bring help to the lands the way we are wanting to do. Everyone is in such high spirits, it just makes me so happy to see everyone the way they are now. I am truely thankful to all of them for making this happen. I know without them, I wouldn't be able to do any of this. Thank you guys, so much, I love each and everyone of you..........

Well, we did it. The guild is up and running. Now to start recruiting. Still have to get the paperwork to the gods, hopefully will be doing that here real soon. It felt so good to sit with them in the glass building. After Tor signed and after he handed me that form back, all I could do to stop shaking to sign it. It feels weird now, to have my own guild. I'm still in a state of shock over it. I'm waiting for someone to wake me, and tell me it's all been a dream. All I can do now is sit back and pray that doesn't happen......

Well, things are moving along quite nicely. Tor is working as hard as ever, and at the rate he is going, should only be a couple more days before he can sign the papers. Still have to work on the mission statement. Hopefully with everyone's help, we can get that done here real soon. I have something for all of us for when we finalize the form. Everything is moving so fast now, I am more excited as the days pass.

I am so looking forward to sitting down and spending some time with Spyne. We both need it so badly right now. Was suppose to do that today, but just couldn't seem to be awake at the same time. I think that is what is aggrivating me the most. All in due time though.

Still trying to think of what to do for Tor for when he gets to 25. Has to be something good. He's worked so hard for this. I am truely greatful to have a little brother like him. He's wonderful, if ya can get past that ego of his, that is.

Well, with Spyne helping me all the way, we were able to purchase the guild creation form today. I was so excited as I sat there with Spyne, reading over it, quill in hand, ready to sign. And sign is exactly what I did, then Spyne signed, now waiting on the other two to get to level 25. Ze is thinking of not being an officer, just joining, which is fine with me, if that is what she wants to do. Tor is, well, Tor. No other way to explain him, really, he's a great friend, really feels like a brother. He's training his little bum off. Don't think he's taken a break yet. Will definitely have to do something for him once all this is done. Got him his first assassin's dagger today. Wish there was a way I could record the look in his eyes when I handed it over to him. There's really no way to do it. He knew I was getting it for him, but I think he was surprised when I showed up with it. Little does he know, I keep a few in the bank to help out the young rogues out there. You would be surprised how many walk around blindly, not knowing which armor or weapons to use, where to train, such things like that. That's what I am hoping to change with this guild. Not just for the rogues, but for anyone that has questions. I am always available to help anyone that asks, well almost always. I do have to spend time with certain people in my life....((Yes, Rogue, I am talking about you, now get out of my pack.))

I worry about the Hammers. I do hope they are all ok. I miss them, I really do. But, I am moving on to the next chapter in my life now. Hopefully they all understand this. I've noticed Cel hasn't been awake as much, and that does worry me. After all the words that were exchanged, well, I do still care about her, I really do. I know it's weird, but, I don't know how to explain it. She was there for so many important things that happened to me in the past, ya know, like, when I went to the temple and became a rogue, when Balthy kidnapped me, when I finally woke after that and admitted that I was missing Krin also. When me and Spark were together, broke up, back together, then I left him yet again, it was her I turned to. When Spyne and me first got together, then he left me, it was her yet again, I turned to during that time. It was she that told me to go to him, tell him how I was still feeling. She's the one that pushed me to do that. It was her that was there when Spyne took me to Euthican a few weeks later, she's the one that figured out where I was and who I was with. It was her that bonded Spyne and me. How can I not still care about her? True, I was hurt, but then again, I hurt her in return with my words. I know that is something neither of us can ever take back. Hopefully one day, we can get past this, and try to mend the friendship we once shared.

Spyne has something planned for us in the next couple of days, but he won't tell me what. I really don't care, as long as we get to spend some time together. The past week, we both have been working so hard for the plat for this guild, all we have had time for is sending messages back and for. How I can't wait to sit down with him, longer than what it was today, and just look into those eyes of his. I can get absolutely lost in them at times, I believe. We will be sitting, talking, and I will look into them, and all I can see is the love he has for me. I do hope he knows how much he truly means to me, how much I need him, and how much I really do love him. I know without him, I wouldn't be able to start this guild. I wouldn't have seen the qualities in myself that he sees in me. I still don't see all of them, but with him telling me everyday, then maybe one day I will come to see them also. Like this leadership thing, I just don't see it at all. But, I am taking his word for it, and doing it. Besides with him by my side, along with all the great friends out there encouraging me, I know I can do it.